Wednesdays In The Word With Laura Story – Turning Our "Why?" Into "How?"

All through school, until the day I graduated, I was always the smallest kid with the obvious “picked on” status that goes with the rejects and runts. All my life I was shy and introverted, and had a hard time speaking to anyone I did not know, especially women. About twelve years ago, I was convicted that my knowledge of my faith and the Bible (like many others in church), was superficial, not adequate for something I needed to prepare for, though I had no idea what.

I focused more on Bible study and began to grow in knowledge. Almost 9 years ago, reading Matthew 25:31-44 I was convicted by the story of judgment day that I was being called into a prison ministry. I had no interest in reaching the rejects and outcasts of society, but I told some friends, they and I prayed over it. I felt like Moses in front of the burning bush – “No God, not me, I have always been a bad speaker, uncomfortable around people, please send someone else.”

A little over a year later an opportunity opened, I went into a state prison to visit a man who had written to our church. The letter was given to me by our outreach pastor who knew of my conviction. In that time God had changed me, but I didn’t realize it. My prejudice was gone, replaced with compassion. I went in to visit wondering what we could talk about and how I would spend more than 10-15 minutes talking to a stranger. Three hours later the corrections officer announced that the visiting room was closing for the night. I never had much of a problem from that time on.

The ministry grew, I recruited volunteers to join me, we reached more and more men in one on one visits, and began a letter writing ministry reaching both men and some women as the men moved to other prisons. A few years later, I ended up moving to another state. I joined a church and immediately began looking for a prison ministry. Nothing similar was available nearby, but I met somebody in a city/county jail ministry. I joined that, and found myself out of my comfort zone once again, leading Bible studies with groups of anything from 2 to 10 inmates, standing in passages at the cell-blocks.

As time passed I was asked to consider becoming a backup, apprentice adult Sunday school teacher. I agreed to that, and also agreed to take over a two hour Bible study in the jail, on a different day than normal visitation. I had been asked to become assistant chaplain as our chaplain’s health was not good, then later asked if I would take over the role of chaplain, all volunteer roles on top of a normal job.

Now with all the teaching, my other challenge is exposed. A number of years ago, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. Some people have told me I can’t have fibromyalgia, only women get that. I believe my rheumatologist knows more than they do, and I see the side effects – muscular pain, chronic fatigue, and one of the worst, fibro-fog, the short term memory loss known technically as cognitive dysfunction. I tell people I remember passages of text, but sometimes don’t remember the exact book, chapter and verse – not to use fibromyalgia as an excuse, but to show my frustration at the fibro-fog, and how I cope with it. Like Paul, I have heard and accepted “my grace is sufficient for you” as I prayed over this, and said if this is your will, take it from me, not my will, but yours be done.

I’m still a bit uncomfortable standing in front of 60 – 80 people to talk for an hour about the ministry, but I can do it without too much trouble. I feel more comfortable in a 2 hour study locked in a classroom with up to 15 men in jail than in front of an adult Sunday school class of 10 – 20 people I know well. God uses the weak things of the world for his glory, not always the confident, not the proud.